TOP FIVE of UNAUTHORIZED! - A Nightmare on Elm Street Kills!

The Nightmare on Elm Street franchise is one of the most enduring horror series in the history of Hollywood.  Eight times (and one more for a remake) Freddy Krueger has terrorized teenagers in their sleep, leading to a whole lot of screams and a very impressive body count.  But when you’re on Elm street, it’s not the quantity of the kills, it’s the quality.  From turning a girl into a cockroach to force feeding a teen their own guts, Freddy always manages to find new and horrifying ways to bring those sleepy teenagers to their demise.

In honor of our next production, “A Bad Dream on Elm Avenue”, we at Unauthorized! are ranking our TOP FIVE favorite Nightmare deaths!  So hold onto your lunch and remember those we’ve lost to Freddy!

Honorable Mention:

Jesse - Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge

Nightmare 2 is simultaneously the most interesting and most frivolous of all the Nightmare films.  Rushed into production, it was inferior to the original film in just about every imaginable way yet found second life in the cultural zeitgeist for its gay overtones.  The film did manage one really fantastic effects sequence, however, which would’ve been a contender for the top on the list except for one small problem:  No one dies.  Technically a “possession”, Freddy gets all up in the body of Nightmare 2’s fabulous hero, Jesse Walsh, and really lets it all hang out.

5.  Jennifer - Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Full of fun characters, imaginative special effects, memorable killings, and a rocking hair metal song, Dream Warriors is arguably the most beloved of all the Nightmare films.  Jennifer’s death early in the film is not especially gruesome or shocking, but it gets on this list for two reasons.  First, it has the bonus death of Zsa Zsa Gabor (who was hand picked by Dick Cavett because she was quote, “The dumbest person I’d ever met”) and Second, it gives us the best one-liner from the entire series!

4.  Glen - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

When I first saw A Nightmare on Elm Street, this was the death I remembered best.  Sure other, more impressive deaths have come along since Johnny Depp’s big screen debut but the sheer audacity of this scene leaves everyone who has ever seen it saying the same thing:  “Wow, that’s a lot of blood.”

3. Freddy - A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master

Nightmare 4 was the highest grossing horror film of the 80s in U.S. theaters and launched Reny Harlin’s career.  While not quite as dark as Dream Warriors, Dream Master had no shortage of memorable kills.  None more so than Freddy’s own comeuppance.  All of those teens slashed up by Freddy finally get their revenge (at least until the sequel)

2. Tina - A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

You only have your first time once.  Tina’s death in the original Nightmare was sensational at the time but compared to some in later installments it feels understated.  Relying more on Amanda Wyss’s acting rather than crafted molds and prosthetics, what makes Tina’s death so terrifying is the simple helplessness of it.

1.  Philip - A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

While many a Nightmare death would make me cover my eyes as a 9-year-old, most are a mixture of interesting and amusing as an adult (the reason why Debbie’s famous “roach motel” death didn’t make the list).  One big fat exception to this is Philip’s death in Dream Warriors.  A major reason why Roger Ebert decried the film for not receiving an X-rating, Philip’s “marionette”  death takes teenage suicide and brings it to a truly stomach churning place.  Inventive, well-executed, and wholly disgusting, this is without question the top Kill on Elm Street!

That's our list.  See what inventive ways Unauthorized! comes up with to off kids in "Bad Dream on Elm Avenue" coming to the People's Improv Theater September 21st and 22nd, and remember, don't go to sleep!

My Unauthorized! Life: Kevin MacLean

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Kevin MacLean, Design Director and Company Member

It was the first time I had auditioned for anything in eight years. I had seen the premiere performance of the Unauthorized! sophomore show, Steel Petunias, a few weeks earlier where the announcement had been made that their next show would be a musical parody of Ghostbusters. 

I had always loved performing in musicals in high school and college, but I had long since given up on any semblance of an acting career. I contented myself with the fact that, like organized sports, performing in the theater was in my past.

But the lure of being able to sing and dance on stage again and be a Ghostbuster to boot was too great. Between the time since my last audition and the sheer number of people auditioning, I didn’t figure I had much of a chance. Steeling me somewhat was the fact that I knew I had picked a dynamite audition song. The perfect combination of 80s nostalgia and parody cheese: the theme song from Growing Pains.

After auditioning, I was convinced I wouldn’t get a part. Didn’t quite hit that note, didn’t do my best Dan Aykroyd impression. I drank myself to sleep at 11:15 lamenting missed opportunities.

That morning I woke up for work and found on my phone a missed call and voicemail time stamped at 11:21.

I would end up playing the part of Ray Stantz in Ghostblasters and my journey as a member of the Unauthorized! family was off and running.

When I say “family”, I really do mean a family. You don’t produce and perform a full length musical in the span of a month with out getting to know a few people. You’d expect there to be some arguments, some tension and there is sometimes. That feeling of “Oh man, our first show is tomorrow and we haven’t done a full run through yet!”  But everyone believes it will end up working out and, sure enough, it does.  

I still remember that first rehearsal. Standing there in that tiny room in midtown, knowing almost no one, thinking "Wow, these people are really good, how am I gonna keep up?" I didn't have to worry, because they would show me how.

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The first ever Ghostblasters rehearsal.

No experience has been so rewarding, so filled with love and creativity as the one I continue to have with Unauthorized!. Everything that is said and done holds inside it the singular goal of putting on the best possible show. Every day I find myself surrounded with immensely talented people that hold each other up and say “Lets show people something they know and love in a whole new way. A way that’s wild and fun.”

I don’t know what will become of Unauthorized!.  If it will last six more months or six more years. But I used to think that I knew the date of my last performance. I don’t anymore, and that is really exciting.

Welcome to the Big Show

Writers Christopher Barnes and Ryan Mercy at the piano.

Hi there, my name's Kevin. That little picture there, right there to the right of these words, that is the first EVER official picture posted of the Unauthorized! family in action.  Yeah, its a little blurry but what do you expect?  It's the first official picture.  Of course, back then we weren't quite a family yet.  More like a small group of artists/comedians/crazy people out to have a good time and put on a show worth watching.

From there we have grown into a company with over 30 members and production staff.  Four full-length parody musicals featuring all original songs.  Rehearsals, shows, schmoozing, boozing, and late night choreography run throughs all to get us to where we are now.  But we aren't anywhere near done.

We're taking things to the next level.  Upping production value, writing new shows, adding all new types of content to our arsenal (sketch shows, short films!), and investing time we didn't even know we had to make sure Unauthorized! becomes everything it can be.  

This cute little website is a part of that.  The master plan to find a way where we can keep giving you gifts in the form of hilarious live musical parodies based on movies you love while also still being able eat three meals a day (or two with a snack time in there somewhere).  Because, while there is nothing on earth we would rather be doing, you are the one we are doing it for.  Whether you are a stranger or a dear friend, thank you, and welcome to our world we made just for you.

Now that we have gotten introductions and other niceties out of the way, we can get this show on the road!  

But first, a warning:  Spending time with the Unauthorized! family can wind up being a pretty wild ride.  So, you had better buckle up and get ready to holler, because we can't guarantee your safety but we can guarantee you will have one hell of a good time.

Life is Parody.